The Trouble With Trauma

From the time I began my first law enforcement academy, it was beaten into us that we were to be “in control”. Control the suspect, the victim, the scene, turn chaos into calm and then go on to the next call. And the next and the next and the next. In the Field Training Program, trainers would mark us down and provide remedial training if we failed to control a scene (rightfully so). Part of the way that many of us learned to wrest that control was to tamp down our emotions and do the job. Dead baby? Tamp down emotions and do the job. Gunshot victim? Tamp down the emotions and do the job. You have to. If a first responder or member of the military allows the horror of what they are seeing, experiencing and living soak all the way in then emotions bubble up and completing the mission becomes difficult if not impossible.

So, we experience the trauma. Whatever the day has to offer, we roll in it, wear it and go home at the end of the tour of duty wearing it like bad body odor lingering in clothing that should have been discarded years ago. The first responder community is slowly beginning to recognize that we have to figure out a way to wash the stench of trauma off of us. While there is no magic soap for this, no bath that can make us forget the burned body, the screams or the pooling blood, we are finding a way forward. As much as it pains me to say so, the fire services have been leading the way with this. Pioneering Peer to Peer counseling, and robust wellness programs. The IAFF (International Association of Fire Fighters) has a fantastic curriculum (https://www.iaff.org/peer-support/) that can be in person training and virtual training. A Peer to Peer program offers an excellent way to manage trauma that first responder find less uncomfortable that traditional counseling or EAP.

Our challenge as first responders, veterans or active duty military is to do our jobs as effectively as possible. Still run toward the sound of gunfire, crawl through the window of the burning building to rescue the baby or handle the suicide scene where the guy killed himself by stepping in front of the freight train and to not go home stinking of trauma.

You see, the trouble with trauma I’ve learned is that no matter what we want or don’t want…no matter how tough, no matter how strong, no matter how experienced, we will deal with trauma. We ignore it at our own peril. We will either deal with it on our terms mindfully and intentionally, or we will deal with it on trauma’s terms. Trauma doesn’t care that your spouse wants to celebrate your anniversary, that your kid has a game, that you just want to sit and watch a movie. No it doesn’t care. When it is ready for you to deal with its shit, it will bubble up and your cup will overflow right then. Your desires and intentions be damned, trauma ignored is a ticking time bomb that you may not be able to see or hear until it explodes at the least opportune time you can imagine.

So, what are we to do? To begin with, first responder agencies and the military must acknowledge the damage that untreated trauma does to our community (and by “our community” I mean the first responder and military community AND the community we reside in). Stop teaching our trainees to ignore it. Stop joking about it and the unhealthy ways that we have dealt with trauma for decades. Understand what wellness for responders is and is not. It is, helping our people live their best lives and be the most effective that they can be at work and at home. It is NOT sticking pacifiers in the mouths of our responders. It is not giving them excuses for not working and it is definitely not holding hands and crying while we sing your favorite song. Teach coping methods, build and provide robust resources and take the time to learn how the hell to do these things correctly. Build programs. Send people to training and then (crazy talk here) listen to what they learned when they return and apply it.

If you are an administrator with your hands on the reins of your agency, consider this for one moment; if you had the ability to create a program that effectively treated trauma (I mean vicarious trauma too) and prevented even one divorce, one substance misuse, one arrested member, one prolonged mental illness or…God forbid, one suicide, wouldn’t do just that?

If you are an administrator who has already done that (such as where I work now), thank you. You are changing lives, saving lives and taking care of your agency and the community at the same time.

The trouble with trauma is that we all experience it, but for a variety of reasons we don’t all deal with it when we experience it. If you are one of the very few people who read this blog and this sounds familiar, please be proactive. Please urge your agency to develop and utilize effective programs for our warrior servants. And…please take care of yourself.