Finding Your Peace

Before I get going on this blog, let me acknowledge a universal truth amongst first responders and veterans who retire; all of them have unique experiences. Each individual experienced their career in a unique and profound way that is their story and their history. But, that said, we are all bound together by common experiences, common goals and a brotherhood/sisterhood that can bind us together for a lifetime. Additionally, retirement is a fantasy portion of our lives that most people look forward to, dream about, and few adequately prepare for and plan for.

One day you are a part of a team (however small or large) and something bigger than yourself. You work with others daily toward common goals and celebrate goals achieved together. The next, you are on your own. No team. No larger goals. No bigger group and no shared celebrations and no support. This also means that whatever demons or emotional burdens the first responder or veteran has been shouldering successfully with the help of comrades, immersion in work, the comfort of routine and so on…is abruptly torn away. Even if the new retiree has managed to navigate a career without picking up a large number of demons or emotional burdens (I would submit that this is a rare occurrence) the abrupt departure from the tight knit brotherhoods/sisterhoods is difficult and best and life altering at worst. Those reading this fall into two groups; retired and not yet retired. The not yet retired likely view all this with great suspicion and or apathy. The retired may be nodding and confirming what they are reading as they read. If you question the premise posed above, see if you can find the answer for why so many clubs and organizations exist for retirees, for first responders, and for veterans. Why are so many instantly drawn back to work in the field they just left or a related field? There are likely a few good answers to that question, but the most compelling will fall into line with Occam’s razor; they simply miss the brotherhood/sisterhood too much to go cold turkey.

I too miss that brotherhood. I miss it a great deal as any even casual reader of this blog is likely to have discerned. I stay in touch, work around the profession and passionately advocate for it. So what I am about to say comes from a place of experience, education, and reflection. While the shock to our systems from leaving the team is real and profound, the deeper problem may be finding your peace.

Serving as a first responder or in the military for a full career in any front line capacity is likely to cause wear and tear even if we don’t see it. Much akin to the used car on the corner lot that looks pretty good as you walk by, but has an unusually low price and a small sign on the windshield that reads: “very high milage”. These retirees can feel close to, or absolutely worn out. Hence, one of the reasons why wellness practitioners teach resilience now. Aside from improving our ability to respond to individual incidents, resilience techniques improve our overall outlook and may be able to remove that “very high milage” sign from our windshield. Even so, we still all need to find our peace.

By now some of you are wondering what I mean by “find your peace”. I mean simply beginning today, mindfully move forward finding healthy pursuits in your life that bring you peace. Hike into the woods and rest amongst the trees for a while. Put up bird feeders and watch the birds come and go. Learn photography. Find a new hobby. In the area where I live, we have a Senior Center (admittedly suffering from poor name choice) that offers a wide array of opportunities to learn new things while connecting with other people (an incredibly important thing for aging adults). Volunteer somewhere. Each time you mindfully try a new hobby, volunteer etc. you’ll make connections, build bonds and eventually find the healthy pursuits that bring you peace. A word of caution about some of these pursuits…if your pursuits are your children, that’s fantastic! But, kids grow up and leave. Then what? If your pursuit is travel, and for some reason you become unable to travel, then what? My point is simply to diversify and make certain that you find a way to take care of you and diversify so that self care does not discontinue in the case of the unexpected.

When you find those things that bring you peace, immerse yourself in them. When you do so, magic happens and demons and emotional baggage that hang on persistently will slowly, silently drift away as you mindfully immerse yourself in your pursuit.

When you find the things that bring you peace, embrace them and if you can share your gift with others. Maybe just maybe, you can help someone else who is struggling find their peace too. You deserve a healthy, peaceful retirement and so do others who have sacrificed greatly.

Footnote: The images above represent some of the things that are my peace. Hiking, photography, triathlon (hoping I can get back to it), woodworking, camping, friends, FSU Baseball, birding and working at the CDA. Double clicking on the images should allow the reader to see them at full size.

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Stay safe and healthy.