Evolve Or Perish

If you have been one of the few loyal readers of this blog, thank you. This may be one of my last or at least one of the last in the form that the blog has taken previously. I’ve asked myself the tough questions concerning the low interest and low readership. Some of the answers to my inquiries may be my steadfast refusal to get back onto social media platforms such as Facebook. Refusal to do so has no doubt negatively impacted my ability to acquire a wider readership. Some of the answers may lie in the somewhat niche area that Ive chosen to write about and some quite frankly may lie in the fact that adults do like being told to sit down and eat their vegetables, exercise and take their vitamins. Whatever the reasons, I write for a very small audience that requires a substantial amount of effort for for very little in the way of returns and I am weighing my options…continue with modifications? Or discontinue?

First responders loathe change. We hate the way things are and bitch about the idiots who landed us in this predicament but would rather take a beating than change. But, change we do. When I started in law enforcement, I came to work with a revolver and a pair of speed loaders. Then I purchased my own double action only .45 ACP pistol. Then, my agency went through a couple of iterations of Sig Sauer .40 caliber pistols, then the Glocks in .40 caliber. Now my old agency carries Glocks in 9mm. Things change. We recognized the need for that. In our personal lives, we moved, got new roommates, got married, and had kids, They graduated from college and moved out. We retired. Circles of friends change.

At the beginning of my career, a patrol officer with a model 19 revolver and a Remington 870 shotgun was considered heavily armed and well prepared in my jurisdiction. During that time, what we primarily saw (and we saw plenty of them) were small frame revolvers and small caliber semi-automatic handguns. By the time I retired in 2018, I felt naked as a watch commander without a high capacity handgun with extra magazines, a bailout bag that included magazines and medical supplies and a patrol rifle.

That great squad I was on back in 1998 doesn’t still hang out after work or work out together. Hell, some don’t even live near me. The wonderful group of mothers and fathers who helped each other survive the endless summer swim meets have gone their separate ways, and I don’t see the guys on my old team as much as I’d like to. Back when I started, I cut my hair because it was regulation. Now, my hair is short because I have no other choice…I’m bald.

We change. Times change and we adapt or evolve in so many ways over the years, why is it that as we ease into our sixties that suddenly becomes more difficult? Our already small circle of friends shrinks and we become more isolated. For some years studies have shown that people in their sixties begin to become more socially isolated and I think first responders and veterans can be more vulnerable to this isolation. All of us were once part of close knit, purpose driven teams (even if some were dysfunctional) and moving away from those teams is a difficult transition. In addition, humans are by nature gregarious creatures. We rely on each other for all kinds of things and living in relative isolation deprives us of those things we rely on. Studies have shown that social isolation can lead to increases in cognitive problems, heart disease decreased life expectancy and a host of other health problems.

The conundrum is in part because as we age we become inflexible. We like what we like and who we like. We are stuck in our ways and new and different things and people can be uncomfortable and challenging. In addition, Warrior Servants can experience difficulty bonding with people outside our groups making development of social connections even more difficult.

So what to do? Although the following answers are straightforward, they exceptionally difficult and require the highest levels of self discipline, effort and occasionally…courage. We have to step out of our comfort zones. Find a part time job doing something you enjoy where people depend on you and you can learn something new and meet new people. Volunteer somewhere. Join a club. There are literally hundreds of choices that range from nature clubs to book clubs. Join an exercise group. Join a church group. Take some classes to learn a new craft, hobby or skill. Whatever you do, you need to mindfully become part of a new group or groups. That group should be learning something. Doing something. Creating something and they should expect you to be there.

You are valued. There are people waiting to meet you and learn the value of your skills, insights and abilities that you spent a lifetime building and refining. As they learn the value of those things, you may make one of the most valuable things in life…a friend.