Yes

After a career working for a lot of people who made it their business to reflexively say no, part way through my supervisory career I made the conscious decision to try to say “Yes” to every reasonable request. This meant several things: First it meant that I was forced to carefully consider the proposition before me, no matter how uncomfortable, scary, or difficult that proposition was. Frequently when I did so, I found that if I had the fortitude to say yes, my organization, the public and I benefitted from doing so. Next, after doing this for a while and encouraging this type of communication, people actually came to trust that I would not outright dismiss ideas…no matter how seemingly outlandish they were. Given the fact that I worked with a lot of brilliant people who were subject matter experts in their fields, that became critical to high functioning operations. The final part of the “Yes” philosophy that I learned was there was magic in it. “No” is negative. It’s easy, final and for the speaker avoids the effort of research and debate. No shuts people down. A “Yes” is empowering and gives people skin in the game and incentive to keep trying to improve. But, while all this was going on something completely unexpected happened; these brilliant people who felt comfortable bringing me ideas and communicating with me, began teaching me and making me better. One single little word with such incredible power…

Now I am retired. “Retirement” has many meanings for many different people. At this point, I think I can safely say that what “retirement” really means for most people is another chapter with a lot of freedom. Freedom to pursue passions, dreams, new experiences and freedom from the shackles of the structure of the previous career in some cases. I’d like to suggest “Yes” to you as part of your personal philosophy in retirement (or in your career). What can it do for you? Why should you bother reading further? I’ll tell you in one word…GROWTH.

Since retiring, I have made a concerted effort to say “Yes” to as much as I can. Here is what has happened as a result: To begin with, it has repeatedly put me well out of my comfort zone. Saying “Yes” is what unexpextedly landed me in the wellness business, it put me and my boss/partner on a platform speaking at a worldwide conference in front of a large audience, my boss has tapped me to speak in his place at other agencies, I’ve taught, and I’ve become a student again. Each time these things happen, I get out of my comfort zone. Each time I get out of my comfort zone, I learn new things and grow. We all love to be comfortable, especially later in life. But unless we make an effort to get out of that comfort zone, I assert that growth is unlikely to happen. How many Olympic athletes have “Comfortable” workouts? How many Iron Man World Champions get there with “Comfortable” workouts? How many great ballet dancers command the stage with “comfortable” rehearsals? How many great business people, leaders, artists and so on achieve greatness through comfort? I think as we examine the answers to those questions we can agree…zero.

So, the one question that remains is whether you are retired or still in your primary chapter, are you getting out of your comfort zone? If not, why? Sometimes when we get out that comfort zone, we try and do not succeed. Failure is indeed a powerful motivator to stay in the comfort zone. There is no arguing that. But, if you want to move, to grow, to thrive, to experience new things you have to say “Yes” and get out of that comfort zone. Even in failure there is opportunity for growth. We learn new things, meet new people, acquire new skills, test ourselves and exercise our brains. When opportunity presents its self, resist the inner pull to say “NO” and find the power in “Yes“.

I’ll close with a couple of things: First, I’ll address the critics. A lot of people have an idea of what retirement should look like. I love that! But their ideas are their ideas. Retirement is a time for individuality. Chart your own path. Go your own way. Be healthy. Have adventures. Grow and follow your dreams, but follow YOUR dreams not someone else’s. There is no one right way to live in retirement as long as that living includes taking care of yourself. Secondly, and lastly if you choose to embrace the ideal of saying “Yes” as often as possible, recognize that there are people in the world who would take advantage of that. Do your best to avoid that .

“Yes” can be a powerful leadership philosophy and a surprising personal growth strategy. Open new doors for yourself. Say yes. Philippians 4:13

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